Category Archives: philosophy

A letter of apology and comments on blue week

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Bonsoir tout le monde,

What a crazy week! I am so sorry for keeping you out of the loop, I have so much to update you on. First off, let me explain this phenomena that I had no idea existed until very recently, Monday to be exact. I was in accounting class, (I’m back in school, I know, I can’t believe it myself) and my prof said something about blue week. I was so confused, she then goes to explain that blue week is supposed to be the most depressing week of the year.

Why you ask? ( I also asked, don’t feel bad)

She explained that it’s after the holiday cheer has worn off, we are offically back at work or school (both for me) we now have to face our holiday shopping credit card bill, and to top it off, the new resolutions we had firmly made are now crumbling beneath our feet.

That does sound pretty depressing.

Then I started to think. What about my new years resolutions?

I’m not as far along as I would have liked. I have yet to go to the gym. My schedule is always changing. So the time I get home is either dedicated to studying, answering work emails, sleeping and very little writing. The time I wake up has also varied, for example if I stay up till past midnight I will not function properly at 5:00 am.

That’s not to say that I’ve given up. Far from it. But I think it’s more important to do your best everyday, because every day is going to be different. I can’t always plan to be in bed by 9:30 every night so I can be up at 5:00. ( sometimes I get out of work at 9:00)  Or go grocery shopping on Saturday to prepare for the week. Or to bring my lunch everyday. Life happens. Today, for example,  I forgot my lunch. I had it packed ready to go, I was having breakfast and I don’t even know how I forgot it.

After that wonderful opening to a class i’m already not a big fan of, I felt a little defeated like the resolutions got to me. The 5am self, the little voice, it won. I could even hear  faintly, in the distance, the victory song.

And then I realized, It’s not over till it’s over.

I almost fell for it.

So sure, I have some balancing to do. We all do to a certain extent. Things aren’t ever really set in stone. And sometimes, If I have a lot to do and I don’t post it’s not because I don’t want to believe me, I have so much fun with all of you. I’ll probably tweet something so you know.

Fun Fact: The only consistent thing in my new years resolutions has been the quiting of coffee! ( although I had a major craving for it on monday, it was all good, I have a great support system and jasmine green tea just rocks my world)

A la prochaine,

De moi pour toi

Reflections

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Have you ever wondered about the people in your life? The people you see everyday. They walk by you with headphones in ears, with phones in their hands. They walk by you and look away. What about the people on the bus? In the bus you ride every morning? In the bus leaving the station, all those people who you’ve missed. Those people who are literally going in another direction. Do you ever wonder about them? What about that bus you ran for and missed? Was that on purpose? Were you meant to get on another bus, another track, another path? Do you ever think about timing? Life’s way of telling you that it has a plan for you, that everything has been building to this particular moment, this encounter, this meeting, these people, this change in direction. Perhaps we need to feel lost, out of our comfort zone in order to come back to ourselves.  Is it in adversity that we come to know ourselves best, to understand our nature as individual human beings? In order to learn something we may have lost, to know ourselves better, to accept ourselves, to love ourselves.

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Update: Today I woke up at 5:00am. Thankfully I’ve been “training” myself to do so. 7:30 one day 6:30 another and today 5:00am. Changing my alarm also helped, before I had piano to wake up because I argued that I didn’t want to be “startled awake”. I think that put me sleep quicker, and under warm blankets, you know the feeling i’m sure.  So from the Doctor Who theme song (Thankfully I didn’t wake up to a dalek) To Zen piano, I’ve found a happy medium (for now) The song Kids by MGMT. You see,  the beginning  sounds like when my niece and nephew  are running around the house and in that respect I’m up quickly to make sure they don’t get hurt.

Et voila. Day 2. Bring it. At 5:00 am =)

A la prochaine,

De moi pour toi

Lao Tzu on Love

Happy Belated holidays and more growing pains

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Bonjour tout le monde,

I hope you had a wonderful time with your loved ones, sharing memories and laughter to last a lifetime. I apologize for not posting. Between cooking, cleaning, babysitting and trying key word “trying” to have a social life. I feel like I’m exhausted by the end of the day and I could be managing my time better.

Yesterday, I ran into a girl I went to highschool with. Now, having finished school and in the “real world” the pressure is on. We exchanged the usual plesantries and then the question we both wanted to avoid came up. “What are you up to right now?”

Needless to say, we both aren’t where we would like to be in our careers. And  I learned that yes, it takes time. I can’t compare myself to other people because it’s not only torture,  but we each have our own journey and with that comes pace.  I want to believe that this is all happening for a reason. And that growing will feel uncomfortable because it is something I’m not used to.  Growing means facing fear head on,rather than running from it. To grow means being outside of our comfort zone and knowing that the lesson will come in unexpected ways.  Looking back on the year it has been a series of ups and downs. Great moments filled with tears of joy and  unfortunately necessary moments filled with tears of grief. I feel like I have been growing but its far from over. There are more things to come, more challenges to face, more people to meet and more memories to make. I look forward to the upcoming year with anticipation and yes, a bit of anxiety.

Tommorow:  The New Years Resolutions.

Thank you for reading,

A la Prochaine,

De moi pour toi

 

 

Elizabeth Gilbert on your elusive creative genius

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Bonsoir a tous!

Yesterday, I was looking up the  soundtrack for Eat Pray Love and stumbled upon this video.

I had to share this with you.

I can totally relate and would love to hear your thoughts.

 What do you think of what she says? Do you agree with Elizabeth Gilbert?

A la prochaine,

De moi pour toi

Ramblings about Change

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life

I’ve been thinking a lot about travelling lately. I can’t exactly pinpoint what it is that has recently compelled me to think about it so much. Sometimes I think it’s less about taking a plane somewhere but rather a change in direction.

The saying goes: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”

Change can be instantaneous. The effects of that change are not.

Change can also happen for a long period of time and the effects can be understood in a single moment, the moment we make sense of the change or that the change happened.

I’ve always wondered about the nature of change. I don’t have the answer all I know for sure is that it’s necessary.

Lately, I feel as if the world is changing all around me. Everything is shifting and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know whether to stop it and even if I wanted to I don’t think I could. I wouldn’t know how to, it’s an intuitive feeling; I wish I could it describe better.

The best way I could possibly describe it is this:

Picture you are in the middle of a town. It’s empty. There are buildings all around you. Picture, Western style, with saloons, you almost want to whistle the theme song of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, but before you do, or you did it’s pretty epic and rather tempting. The buildings start to shift and re-arrange themselves. Like, the awesome cowboy or girl that you are, the protector reflex comes out but you don’t act upon it. Instead you watch these buildings shift and re-arrange themselves knowing that it is necessary. You don’t know how you know, you just know. It’s inexplicably beautiful to watch when you let go and just look.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?

A la prochaine,

De moi pour toi

Rene Char- L’homme, le poet, et ses mots

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Bonsoir tout le monde,

When I first decided to look up the man whom Elizabeth Bard quoted in her memoir entitled lunch in Paris: a love story with recipes, I did not know what to expect. The idea of looking up this man who was admired, quoted and then whom I quoted by the sheer fact that his words stuck with me. He had the ability use his words to affect curiousity and change with brevity.

What I found as I read article upon article was that this was a man who influenced those he encountered. From the surrealist movement, to existentialism, born June 14th1907 in L’Isle-sur-la-Sorgue and died in Paris on February 19th 1988. This poet influenced the world with his words. His famous works include: Leaves of hypnos, Fureur et mystère, Les Matinaux, Le Nu perdu, among many others. Throughout his life he maintained numerous friendships with artists of the 20th century. These include Albert Camus, Pablo Picasso, and later on in life Martin Heidegger.

Even writing this post I feel I have not done him justice, work in progress right? I still need to read some more of his stuff. What is your favourite Char poem? Or collection of poems?

Personally, the quote from my previous post and the one below are my favourites. I can’t wait to read more on him.

Etre poète, c’est avoir de l’appétit pour un malaise dont la consommation, parmi les tourbillons de la totalité des choses existantes et pressenties, provoque, au moment de se clore, la félicité. {1}(1945)

To be a poet is to have an appetite for a discomfort whose consummation, among the whirlwinds of totality of things existing and foreseen, provokes, at the moment of closure, happiness. {1}

A la prochaine,

De moi, pour toi

{1} caws, mary-ann. n. page. Web. 27 Nov. 2012. <http://www.brooklynrail.org/2007/12/poetry/ren-char&gt;.

What inspires me to write is inspiration itself

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I find inspiration in many things.

Music.

Music literally has the capacity to bring me to tears, to imagine a story unfolding, to see bodies dance, bodies in motion.

The body is a truly remarkable thing, everything working together in unison, muscles we didn’t even know existed working.

Dance.

Dancers tell stories with their bodies. I’ve taken a dance class but by no means consider myself a dancer. What they do, what they transmit is beyond words sometimes.

Combine these two together and you have me dreaming, wanting to sing at the top of my lungs, dancing with no restrictions, laugh, cry but most of all present in the moment. The moment is mine, the minutes may pass, the days may pass and some may be filled with adversities. In those moments, although I may not always realize it, I feel most alive. For those moments I am grateful.

A la prochaine lovely readers,

De moi pour toi

How Eat Pray Love became an Ode to Family

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Bonsoir Tout le monde!

  Eat Pray Love is one of my favourite movies, and the book is on my go to-shelf. (Books with easy access that I frequently turn to) Julia Roberts being my favourite actress cast as Elizabeth Gilbert  in a movie about self discovery and travel is totally up my alley. I could go on forever about my admiration for Julia Roberts and Eat Pray Love in general but it’s an introduction to what I’m writing about today. In the movie, when Julia goes to Rome she meets this Italian woman who has rules about renting her place. She says some funny things like “you American girls,  when you come to Rome all you want is pasta and sausage” (makes hand gesture) It’s funnier when you see it. The thing that stuck with me apart from that funny moment was when she talked about family. She said, in Italian, i’m translating (personally it sounds better in Italian, on the bucket list, but I digress) “The only thing that remains, is family.”

And finally after a mini, and trust me that was mini talk about Julia Roberts and Eat Pray Love, I’d like to talk about the person who listens to the end of my epic quoting, singing, rants, theories and ramblings on everything. Seriously, Everything. My absolute favourite person in the world, my big sister.

Where do I even begin?

I could begin by thanking her for incessantly annoying our mom to have me. Can you imagine a life-sized doll who could actually answer and play with you?  I’m not sure if at that moment she knew I would, first, grow up and second grow to incessantly “annoy” her in my pre-teen years. ( me?! could never, but I don’t want to sound one-sided)

Yeah, let’s start there.

I’d like to thank her for many things.

Among many things,  she warmed up the womb for me, by the time I inherited the place it had cooled down. I think it’s perhaps the reason I get cold really easily, guess she didn’t get the mental memo. Funny, she gets them now.

When I was born, things changed radically. My family had just came to a new country, they were getting used to a new language and to top it off a new member of the family. The Canadian.

Growing up with my sister has hilarious stories, like the time she regretted asking for me and asked my mom to give me away because I cried too much. The time she took me to school for show and tell and our mom had the biggest scare of her life, the time I followed her to school (the first time she took me it was so much!) This all happened before I turned 5. Our family should have noted then that we would become inseparable.

We have shared rooms, beds, secrets, bottles of wine, endless portions of food, laughs and above all memories. She is the person I’ll always turn to for guidance and support. The only person I can be myself around, the one who brings out my goody side, who actually thinks I’m funny. (I need to let the funny thing go, I know)  She’ll call me on my crap when needed and back me up when I feel like I’m the only one fighting for a dream that at times feels impossible. We are night and day. I’ve always wondered whether we would be friends if we just met  randomly on the street. Our tastes are so different, picking a movie to watch is a mission. I’ve grown to understand that it’s our ability to compromise and accept our differences that balance us out. And that, makes us a pretty awesome duo.

My sister was a crazy kid she still is inside, as a child she just needed a sidekick. I’m proud and blessed to be that sidekick.

A la Prochaine,

De moi pour toi
Note: I’m totally making her watch Eat Pray Love again tonight =p